College messed up my life in the most beautiful way possible. There are days I love it. There are days I hate it. Mostly, it’s brought change. Lots of change.
I thought the only big change I faced would be adjusting to life right after I got to college. I thought that I’d get used to the new world I lived in over time; I’d learn who my friends were, find where I fit, and be content with that. But being in college wasn’t just a new normal for me. It was the start of many new normals.
It’s not that everything has changed — it’s that everything has continued to change. Friends are getting into serious relationships. Career options are hitting me in the face. People I never thought I’d see again are filling huge spaces in my heart that I never knew were there.
Sometimes the change terrifies me, but I keep reminding myself that God’s got it all. It’s hard to grasp the idea that all of this love, and chaos, and beauty, and pain have a purpose, but I know there’s a reason for it.
I just keep taking life one day at a time. I treasure little moments I never believed would happen. I didn’t think that I’d help my best friend through a breakup and the revival of that same relationship one morning in a hipster coffee shop. I didn’t know that a boy I barely talked to for three years would take me to the emptiest part of the beach to look at the stars. These moments would never have happened a few months ago or even a few weeks ago, but they happened in the normal I’m in now.
What scares me is that I don’t know if my current normal is going to last a week, or two weeks, or three. But while I’m in it, I’m going to enjoy every moment.
Because this normal? It’s only going to happen once. Same with the next normal, and the next one, and the one after that. So while I’m in it, why don’t I bask in every minute of it? Why don’t I study the way her heart continues to piece back together? Why don’t I treasure the little conversations we have about stupid things that make my heart feel alive?
Life is hard, but it is also good. Life changes, but God controls that change. Take in each moment. Really, feel each moment. Because this normal isn’t going to last forever, and you might as well love it while you can.