I think it’s natural for people to want to change other people.
I’ve wanted to change people.
I’ve relentlessly tried to make people believe in themselves. I’ve wanted people to love me more. I’ve tried to make people more outgoing or more reserved. I’ve tried to help people become motivated. I’ve tried to make people care about what I cared about. I’ve tried to make people more like me or how I’d like them.
Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. But more than anything, I realized it wasn’t worth it — and I realized that I let people change me, or more accurately, I changed myself to be like other people.
I can’t remember when I first realized it. I don’t even think I realized how bad it was. For me, it was more like, oh, I’m trying to be like this person because I like them. In trying to become more like them, though, I became less of myself. That’s what was worst. I suppressed little things and big things that had to do with me — my love of singing, the Once Upon A Time episodes that were hilarious, guys I liked.
I was scared that if I liked something, and it was wrong (whatever that meant to me), it would somehow make me less of a person. It would make people dislike me more. It would make people leave me.
The truth is, some people will like you. Some people won’t — and some people will like you one day and decide the next that they no longer want you in their life, and that’s okay.
It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It doesn’t mean you’re not worth it, or that you’re a bad person, or that you’re annoying.
Be colorful. Be vibrant. Be creative. Love what you love. Don’t care what other people think. I mean that. You can be as weird, as crazy, and as random as you want, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about you. If you are happy with yourself, that is what matters.
I’ll never get back the time I spent trying to be someone I was not — but that time was short in comparison to all the time left to come.
I don’t ever want to again change myself to fit the box I think I belong in, and I don’t ever want to make someone else into something they’re not.
You are beautiful the way you are. You don’t need to be different.